Just for the record

I want to clarify something for the employees and clientele of various restaurants, Starbucks, card stores, etc, etc. I want to do this for two reasons. First of all, credit must be given where credit is due. And second, there are times when I appear to be a real retard.

The truth is: this child does not belong to me.

Sadly, I cannot take any credit for how cute, smart and well-behaved he is. All praise must go to his mother, Susan. Happily, conversations like the following, really DON'T mean that I'm an unfit mother.

woman at *$: "cute kid!"

me: (smile)

woman: "he must burn so easily."

me: (deer-caught-in-headlights expression accompanied by long pause and then) "him?? ummmm...."